I normally play RTS games in the way modern west Europe would. I try to keep my soldiers safe whenever it's possible. That's why I suck at multiplayer where units are a resource to be earned and spent.
I have problem about thinking in those categories. Call me crazy - I do what I can to save "lives" of my guys.
I'm more like Wellington than Napoleon in that manner.
Build up defences, let enemy crash against your walls, pile up units, attack only when almost sure of victory.
I feel most comfortable in defence.
This is so different from my attitude in games like FPS - where I am the first to charge (and die). I am aggressive, pushing and rarely stop for anything. In Borderlands for example I always played Brick, rush in, beat-em-up and move on.
I don't like playing a sniper, I don't like wasting million bullets while shooting from afar. I want to smash and kill and have fun with it.
RTS? I will hold the line till the cows come home and then little longer, just to be safe.
Why?
In my mind when I throw myself on a grenade (which I might have thrown myself), I just waste my own life.
While leading troops in RTS game, I get stupid and try to save their lives. You know, it's sound fine - not throwing needlessly lives away, right? For me it's not a matter of tactic, but saving lives of troops under your command. Yes, the stupid box of pixels and numbers I can produce at mass.
This mindset switch is something silly - but profound in my playstyle.
Think about going to war. Think about being on a battlefield.
Day starts and before it ends you have a fair chance of being dead. And if you wont, there's a far chance you'll kill someone. Or at least see someone die in a horrible way. Horrible.Way.
And you can die in horrible way too.
Read war memoirs from WW1. From any war actually where writer was in the front line.
Our white-gloved culture don't prepare us to see this sort of violence. Few centuries ago public executions for example were means of people getting use to death, sometimes in horrible ways.
We're shielded from human gore.
And it's not like what you see playing videogames. Games only interact with your eyes and ears. Wet sounds and red pixels. It's entertainment for us. Just like public executions were for our medieval ancestors.
So, you're standing on a battlefield. Any period will do, lets say.. 18th-19th century - civilized times in warfare. You're serving in line infantry. One of many in your unit you stand under watchful eye of your superior. The drums play, the standards wave. You see horse messengers rushing back and forward behind your positions. And there, on the other side, you see army of men, just like you. They stand there. You can almost hear their drums or trumpets. Battle starts with some skirmish, maybe some cavalry fight on the wings. You hear artillery maybe some firearms. And then, an order.
Like a wave going from battalion to battalion. Forward.
And you go. And it is on. It's a matter of time before you can see where and why are you moving. There are men on the other side that will try to shoot you. Same way you'll try to shoot them.
Maybe it's all a little unreal still. But you know you can die soon. In 10 minutes. 5. 3. Order to stop.
To fire. To reload.
Maybe you're lucky and you caught enemy still moving. But that won't take long. After first few shots, smoke covers your whole front view - unless wind is too strong. You don't see much ahead of you. And then you hear roar from ahead. Maybe line of white flashes in front. And moments later bullets fly around you. You can hear them. Maybe one of them missed your ear by few inches.
Lets say it did.
But guy next to you wasn't as lucky. His face is now a bloody mess. He falls on the ground next to you. His blood, maybe parts of brain spray around. He yells or cries out. And it is a cry like you never heard before. Cry of someone dying. Right here. Right now. Next to you.
What do you do? You reload. You try not to look at the bleeding corpse that lies next to you.
Oh.. no, he's not dead. you can see his arms moving, hands pressed against bullet-pierced face. He knows it's the end for him. But the primal instincts kick in.. he doesn't want to die. His body refuses to acknowledge death. He coughs and yells and cries out for mother, father, god, his wife, his children. And you know, in five seconds you might be lying next to him. Doing what he's doing. You hate him. He is you, from the future.
He is you from twenty inches to the right.
Your hands may shake at this point. But you reloaded your gun. You rise it and shoot into the smoke ahead. And people on the other side scream and die.
And then you. And them and you again. And the smoke gets into your eyes. You wouldn't see much anyway, by now smoke covers you completely.
Your brain refuses to accept the things you can see.. and do see.
People around you, dead or dying. Or standing and shooting just like you.
You're trained to focus on shooting. And you think that perhaps you just shot the very man that had a bullet with your name on it already aimed at your chest.
Death can happen in any second. Bullet is just one way of dying. How about cannonball? You wouldn't even see the metal ball coming. It might go as fast as 150-250 meters per second. To give you an idea - cannonball hits the front of the modern car.. and it makes its way to the other side without a hiccup. You have one hole in front one in the trunk.
Now imagine, that's not a car that just stood in the way of cannonball. It's you. And there's a chance you won't even register the fact your body is being torn in half. This can happen at any moment to you. Or anyone else around you.
Another way to die is being stabbed. Bayonet charge was popular up to WW1.
It doesn't take long, you know? By the time you reload your rifle enemy might has the end of his in your belly.
So, as you expect death in any moment, from any direction, you try to mute the sound of people dying and bullets flying. You want to focus on the voice of the drum, or whistle, or trumpet.. or voice of the NCO that lead your unit. You want to know if retreat order was given. If you can turn away and flee.
That's what you really want to do now. Turn around and just leave this horrible, blood-soaked field.
What if the person that suppose to transmit order of retreat was killed. And you're standing there shooting like an idiot, blind to the fact your position is about to get overrun. Or you've been flanked by cavalry.
Lets say your side won the battle thou, and you survived. You're alive. Without any major wounds.
This is not the end. This is just one battle. Another one might be a week from now. Or two. Or tomorrow.
Would you liked to think that the person that sends you each time on the battlefield thinks of you as a resource to be spent?
If have trouble separating myself from those experiences when I play videogames. I'm too involved. Too absorbed.
Today conflict between Russia and Ukraine is heating up to new levels. In few weeks time people like me might be on the streets of Ukrainian cities, going though the same motions I described. Heck, if things will really get screwed it might be me. I don't really believe this as a possible option, don't get me wrong. But first time in my life such a possibility exists outside of pure sci-fi.
Fuck.. I'd use all the cheat codes to get out of that.
God mode please!
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